Confession For Another Day
by Kisuru-chan
Summary: Riko's feelings for Kanna have never changed. She has always been in love with her and that will be a constant until the end of time. But every day, that gets harder when Kanna only wants to be her best friend. How will she ever let her know her true feelings when it has already been five years since they've met? Future fic.


**A/N:** Written as a Yuletide 2017 exchange gift for PsychedOut.

* * *

Years ago, Riko had been content with the lack of understanding Kanna's true feelings. She hadn't particularly foreseen that, when she had been young and naïve, she would feel the yearning claws of despair that she currently did five years later.

Back then, she had obsessively fallen for a girl with lavender hair. She had made her cry in front of their classmates and made her cry. Now, she wanted to slap herself and stomp her feet at the memory of what she had done. But that was in the past. Yes, in those innocent days, she hadn't known she would crave to hear an answer from her childhood crush.

Crushes were supposed to pass, right?

Pinching her cheeks, she hissed to herself. "Why does Kanna-san have to be like that! So… so, I don't know!" Riko glared at her reflection in the mirror. Her fingers latched in her hair, curled around her wavy strands, yanking down in pure frustration. She winced, staring intently at her angry reflection.

Crushes went away, the magazine had said. Puppy dog crushes that were never openly returned faded. Crushes wrinkled into dust. Childhood crushes didn't last. It was natural growing up. The childhood friends ending was not quite _that_ commonplace in reality.

People change. They don't always stay the same. She had waited to see Kanna express more interest than what she always had watching her, but…

She would find another girl. Finding another beautiful, smart, and intelligent girl would take time, but Riko had the patience for it. Her mother had encouraged her, too. She was still a budding girl—she had plenty of time to kick back and let life take over and experience new things at her own pace.

But, no, she didn't want more time. Riko understood her feelings _now_! Kobayashi-san had told her to get close to Kanna and see how it would work out. Even Tohru had given her straightforward tips on attracting girls (and dragons), which had produced little to no effect based on her own observations.

Yet do as she might to give Kanna the freedom she wanted, she could never scrap Kanna's memory from her thoughts. Of course she could never ignore her or forget about her. She was attached like a magnet's savage, unbearable pull to Kanna.

Her phone buzzed. She snatched it from her desk. Seeing Kanna's name in the text melted her heart.

 _I'll be at the school gates later.  
_  
Riko idly tapped her finger over the message bubble (how could she not when Kanna liked to spam the cutest emotes, even that weird bug smiley set?). She sent back a heart-eyed smiley back. After school she would be too happy when she stopped in front of her to say, _Saikawa, Kobayashi is making snacks, let's go_ , and grab her hand in her smaller one. Sometimes they flew and it was magical.

With time, Riko's hands had gotten bigger. It had upset her. Kobayashi wasn't worried about Tohru not aging, but Tohru returned her feelings. Of course Riko was changing and getting older like a normal human should. But her feelings were only getting more place to roam free and turn over uneasily.

Riko dropped her hands to her sides and took a deep breath. She stared at the distraught girl in the mirror. Her frazzled brown hair was in disarray, and her summer uniform was wrinkled. Sighing, she patted down her skirt. She would have to face today like every other day. Today she wouldn't have her heart filled, but she couldn't impose feelings for Kanna that she had never showed an interest in.

Snatching her bag with a moody huff, she ventured out into the brilliant sunshine outside. She clutched her bag straps until her knuckles were white. The air was cold and a dreadful lump grew heavier in the pit of her stomach. If only life wwere that simple.

* * *

The day was like most other days. Riko walked to school and Kanna stood against the school gates, waiting for her to arrive. She didn't have to do that, She could easily go in and meet up with her other friends, but she insisted, saying that she wanted to see her in the mornings no matter what. It wasn't always easy to see each other because they had separate classes. Riko had been devastated at the beginning of the year when she had seen the notice on the class roster. But they made their schedules work out for that purpose.

"Saikawa," she called, latching onto her arm. She looked up at her accusingly with an adorable quirk of a frown. "You're late. I should walk you to school."

A million possibilities passed through Riko's brain. What would everyone say if they saw them? Would they think they were going out, and would rumors start? That's what she desperately wanted the most, she reminded herself. Riko gathered up her nerves and wrapped them firmly back into place.

"Sorry, I didn't ride my bike today," she told her, which essentially was the truth. "Anyway, let's go."

Sometimes her head would get lost in the clouds, so to speak. She would have moments in class that she didn't pay attention. Looking out the window gave her glimpses of Kanna in P.E. class once and a while. But she was still studious enough to have high scores. Yes, it was during breaks and lunch that Riko seriously couldn't focus. Kanna shared her lunch. She would hold onto her hand, or she would find them a closed-off place to sit. It didn't always work; Kanna was pretty popular and the girls from her class wanted to sit with her. It was always fun to have them with her so she didn't fell awkward. Still, Riko couldn't help but be happy that Kanna wanted to be near her the most of the girls in their grade.

That was normal for best friends. They did everything together. Even hold hands, didn't they? Kanna made that perfectly clear to her.

At the end of the day, Kanna latched herself to Riko's arm again. "Home," she said, pointing towards the general area of her apartment complex.

Laughing a bit, Riko shrugged. "Again?"

"Kobayashi says she likes when you come over," Kanna replied, tugging her away from the gate.

Of course she didn't mind walking with Kanna or seeing Kobayashi. It was just the principle of the thing. Flying was its own kind of experience, too, but having her clutch onto her was another. Riko had to stop herself from falling over with a nosebleed even now. Kanna was too irresistible when she looked at her and Riko never wanted to disappoint her.

Greeting the others on the way in (Takiya and Fafnir were about to visit), Kanna swept her off to her room. Her room was spotless as usual: bed perfectly made, stuffed animals lined up on the window sill, and her desk arranged. Riko never could shake that she was so perfect by never wanting to cause trouble.

The TV clicked on and the light filled the room. Kanna flopped back against her bed, dropping her bag carelessly on the floor. She patted the bed next to her without looking in Riko's direction.

"I want to watch this," Kanna said.

Riko glanced at the screen. She recognized the pastel backgrounds that indicated a romance. It was one of Kanna's favorite dramas of the season, although she was surprised she wasn't watching a spy thriller. She had gotten into those recently.

"Shouldn't we start our homework?" Shuffling on her feet, she didn't want Kanna to get to off-track, and she did have a load of homework waiting for her.

Kanna pouted at her and shook her head vigorously. That was all the persuasion Riko needed to slack off.

Riko wanted to pay attention to the show. She would be able to talk to Kanna about it later, but her simple presence next to her distracted her too much. She saw enough on the screen to realize this must be a girls' only school—where were the boys?—and couldn't remember what she had just seen. Riko scolded herself. She had to pay more attention!

At least, she would have if Kanna didn't look at her. Her eyes narrowed at her as if suspicious.

"W-what?" Riko squeaked. Her desperately kept her eyes on the screen but she shifted uncomfortably.

"I forget that humans like that kind of thing when they like each other," she wondered. Her tone was puzzled, although interested under the surface.

Riko frowned. Her eyebrows knit while she searched for the last thing on the screen that had happened. She couldn't even decide based on context, either; the program was on a commercial break. She didn't know what Kanna was talking about. She knew she would regret fantasizing instead of watching.

"Well, yeah," Riko said. She tried to remember if the guy in this romance came to mind. Perhaps he hadn't shown up in the episode. "Love confessions are common… and… and… sharing lunches…" It was a good enough white lie as any. She was a human. She had to sound like an expert!

Riko thought about the number of times she wanted to confess to Kanna she wanted to be her wife and make her lunches, or share more of hers. Kanna gave her so much of her lunch and looked dejected when she didn't eat every single bite of it. Riko would feel energized for the entire day afterwards.

When Kanna didn't say anything, Riko turned to face her. Kanna's normally stoic face was scrunched up. Slowly, she leaned towards her, eyes burning. Riko gulped. She couldn't think about anything other than the way Kanna was solely focused on her and her only. Kanna placed her hand on the bedspread.

She was judging her. She had to be for not paying attention to the show. Maybe she was upset… She felt horrible about it, actually. But what she felt the worst about was the need to close the gap between them and fill in the space that couldn't be.

Riko's heartbeat pulsed in her ears. Her body was on fire, and she couldn't breathe. The stuffed animals and lamp and Kanna's face spun in her vision. She was drowning, internally screaming.

Pushing herself to her feet, she wobbly rushed to her bag. Without looking back she threw it over her shoulder and jetted out of the room at top speed.

Riko leapt into the living room. Wildly, she looked around herself, not knowing where she wanted to go. Her entire body burned and ached and she wanted to go back and be with Kanna. But it _hurt_. She had to… she couldn't stay here… she had to leave…

"Saikawa-san," Kobayashi called, turning around to face her direction. She gestured over to the kitchen. "Tohru made your favorite if you want to stay. You can text your mom and let her know, right?"

Riko stared at her, slack-jawed. Wide-eyed and breathless and fuming, she just couldn't speak.

The door opened itself without Riko realizing she was yanking it open. She flew through it, slamming it behind her. She clenched her fists at her sides and ran, ran, _ran_ until she was out of breath. The area surrounding her didn't look familiar when she came back to her senses far from the apartment complex.

* * *

Honestly, Riko didn't know how to show her face after that. She couldn't believe what she had done; she had abandoned Kanna and left her there. Part of her wanted to reach out to her, and the other part wanted to hide under her covers and not come out.

She was such a coward. But it made her heart constrict and throb knowing that she was yearning for something Kanna wanted to keep platonic. Kanna would have told her if she wanted something more in their relationship by this point. Five long years had passed as friends, after all.

So, she resorted to avoiding her in hallways at school. Riko didn't answer her texts, either. She would glance at them, but her fingers would itch, begging her to reply to it no matter the pain. Eventually, she would come to terms with it and she wouldn't be this upset. She needed a little time.

Normally, she was polite. She didn't like ignoring the people that she considered her extended family… But she was sure they would understand.

Her willpower seemed to last a hundred years. In reality, it was only two days that passed while she let time stand still. Riko was breaking down slowly.

For once, Riko was thankful they didn't have the same classroom. Being separated from Kanna tore her in two but she didn't want to see her. She had made such a fool out of herself, and she didn't want Kanna to be upset at her. That would destroy her. Kobayashi in particular would understand if she explained. She was sure she knew why Riko had ran out in the first place. Had she figured it out?

At home Riko felt empty. She usually went over to Kanna's place, but she felt too embarrassed to go over and apologize. It was stupid. She trusted Kobayashi and Tohru with her life. Maybe that was why it hurt so much. She didn't want to see their disappointed faces for even a split second.

Riko would do that. Tomorrow, she decided. Tonight she had had homework to do. She sprawled out on her bed and spread out her textbooks and papers.

Her cellphone rang. Her blood went cold. Hesitating, she reached for it, praying it was and wasn't her.

 _Saikawa, let's meet after school tomorrow and go on a date in the park. Let's go, let's go! C'mon!  
_  
The message was interspersed with beetle emoji between each world. Riko's eyes went blurry.

The phone made a loud thud against the floor. She picked up her pillow and flopped it above her head. Riko screamed into it, a tear sliding down her cheek. She hated everything and nothing and she didn't think she could ever explain to Kanna why.

The worst part was, Kanna didn't understand how the word "date" rubbed the salt in her wounds. She didn't understand that it was the last word she wanted to see her say. Kanna didn't like her, and she rather not be reminded. She should use club meetings as an excuse—she hadn't been going much to calligraphy club recently. But all the same she was excited and she knew she wouldn't resist.

She rolled off the bed and typed without looking. It didn't even have to be said, but it brought her the comfort of familiarity from the routine of it.

 _Just meet me outside the gate._

* * *

Admittedly, Riko was nervous. She felt awful and every single nerve of hers twitched at the thought of seeing Kanna. It would be like seeing her for the first time for ages. She shouldn't even want to talk to her after that day! She needed a suitable present to apologize. Even then, she didn't think Kanna should allow her to say anything at all…

Kanna didn't seem to mind. In fact, she slipped her hand in hears at the school gate like usual. She clamped on tight and pulled Riko towards the park. With each step Riko's nervousness increased, and she couldn't help but look at her shadow on the ground. When Kanna asked her how her day went in her class and if she passed a test, Riko could only hum that it hadn't been overly special or difficult.

Yes, she had to breathe. She was making it this far. Riko had to be strong at times like these for herself.

The park was lively even after school. Children played on the slide, bikers zoomed through, and the trickling from the river set the atmosphere. The evening sunset loomed low in the sky like a fireball.

Kanna's lights lit up when she saw the park's ice cream cart. She looked so happy and carefree. Riko's rigid stance eased up. She couldn't be upset when Kanna looked so delighted. Kanna pulled them towards it andthey each bought a cone for themselves, wandering even further into the park. Kanna slowly ate her cone while Riko let hers melt on her fingers.

This was very nice, but…

This wasn't a date-date. The real deal.

Once again, she wondered what Kobayashi thought of her disappearance from the house the other day. Did she think she was rude for running out on her and had she said so to Kanna? She hadn't even said a simple goodbye… No, she told herself she wouldn't let herself be swallowed in those thoughts!

Riko took a final lick from her ice cream. She took a long, drawn out breath. Her heart hammered against her ribcage. Kanna looked so cute. She still wore their white and red school uniform, but even the uniform was beautiful on her. Everything was stunning about her. Her resolve crashed and the stirrings of confidence overwhelmed Riko.

This was the time to ask her face-to-face.

"Kanna-san," Riko said levelly. "What do you think?"

It was a weighty question for her. She didn't know what she or Kanna should think. It wasn't a secret that Kanna was older than her, though, and she must be far more understanding of the matters of the heart and romance. Kanna should know more about this kind of thing and be as wise as Kobayashi..

"What do I think about what, Saikawa?"

Kanna's tone was steady yet curious. Riko wanted to rip her hair out. She didn't know how to put her thoughts into words so casually. Those feelings had stewed deep within her secret place, the closed off chambers of her heart, for too long. Telling her outright was something incredibly hard to her when she had spilled so much of herself to Kanna and made her feelings clear from day one.

"You obviously feel something for me, right?" Riko's hopes and fears and love clashed. She turned the words in her mind carefully. "Anything."

"Feelings," Kanna said. The implication seemed to go over her head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean… I mean!" Riko didn't know how to phrase it properly. Putting it into direct words would be too pushy, and she didn't want to embarrass her or put her on the spot. "Do you like—like me—"

Kanna tilted her head. She stopped eating her ice cream long enough to study her expression. She shrugged and smiled in that demure way that didn't reveal too much. "Oh," she said in the most calm, off-handed way. "That's easy. I love you, Saikawa."

First, Riko's face froze. The words echoed in her eardrums. The world under the bridge rippled, and the sunlight blinded her. Everything went red from her cheeks to the tips of her ears. She stared at Kanna, hoping she had heard her correctly. When it was obvious she wasn't hallucinating Riko threw her head back. She screeched at the top of her lungs.

Riko dropped her ice cream over the bridge's railing and it splattered against the water below.

The ducks bounded for the leftover cone. The blueberry ice cream dissolved in the water. The ducks pecked at the cone, fighting for the scraps. Numbly, Riko watched them flock from both edges of the pond, nibbling up the last reminder of her sanity.

"What's wrong?" Kanna asked, looking up at her.

What… what was _wrong_. What did she mean "what's wrong"!? Riko put her hand over her heart and leaned back against the bridge railing. The clouds in the sky danced in her vision. Steam poured out of her ears. Okay, she had to draw herself back to reality. She wasn't ready, yet she was ready.

"And you didn't say anything?" Riko squealed. She couldn't bite back the incredulous tone. She couldn't believe she had gone by so long without realizing that Kanna had feelings for her the entire time.

So much time had been wasted.

It was the most aggravating, foolish feeling.

Kanna licked her cone thoughtfully. She chomped down on the rest of it, searching for an explanation. "That I didn't say I love you?" Her mouth rounded. "Tohru-sama doesn't care about kind of thing."

"She doesn't care about what?" Riko asked. Tohru cared. That didn't compute in her brain. She cared _a lot._ She had worked hard to get Kobayashi's attention solely on her, so that didn't hold up.

"Tohru-sama doesn't get upset when Kobayashi doesn't always tell her she loves her, because she knows she does without asking," Kanna pointed out. She nodded to herself seriously, satisfied. "I thought I should act like Kobayashi. Kobayashi doesn't show her feelings as sappy as Tohru-sama does. We know they love each other without all that. And I trust everything Kobayashi teaches me."

Suddenly, reality fell down on Riko. The hourglass of her standing still in time began to fill again and blood rushed through her veins. The moments Kanna would snuggle up to her at sleepovers. Those moments she would look at her from far away, or give her presents for Christmas and Valentine's. When she had learned towards her the other day with closed eyes and she had freaked out and ran…

"Oh… is that it, Kanna-san…" Riko said, wondering if she should be upset or relieved that the situation hadn't been as dire as she originally had seen it to be. She could feel sweat drops bullet down the back of her head. But she couldn't deny that Kanna had given her an extremely Kanna-like answer.

Some things didn't change.

Perhaps she should have been more prepared for that cultural difference—dragons modeling the behavior exhibited around them. At least, Riko thought that's what it was. Usually, humans who cared about each other talked about it. Riko had mistaken those feelings for Kanna pretending a relationship didn't exist. Yet again, Kanna wasn't exactly like everyone else. That's the reason she had fallen in love with her from the beginning.

Maybe the both of them were head-over-heels helpless after all. This simply confirmed that suspicion after many years of not knowing.

Riko was the dense one. It was indisputable.

Kanna peered up at her with her hands behind her back. The expression she wore was innocent but regretful. Besides her hands, Kanna was shorter than Riko, but Riko found herself easily staring back into her intense gaze, not knowing what to do.

"And," Kanna said, "I thought you knew. That kind of understanding isn't always said between dragons."

Riko found herself nodding, cheeks glowing red. She didn't know where Kanna was going with this. It was too much and not enough at the very same time.

Tears welled up in her eyes. Her bottom lip quivered. "Sorry. I didn't know we were having an argument…"

"We're not fighting!" Riko assured her. She waved her hands wildly. How was it possible for her to want to squeeze Kanna in a hug and buy her anything she wanted with one tear? She was too precious for words, and Riko would never fight with her.

Giving in, she enveloped Kanna in a hug. They didn't hug like this often, but it was warm and safe and comfortable, and Kanna stopped crying after a minute. Sometimes she forgot how sensitive Kanna still was. Riko didn't mind that as long as she could make her happy and wipe away those tears.

"So it's okay?" Kanna sniffled. She rested her head against the strap on Riko's shoulder.

Riko jumped slightly. Kanna's cheek was against her shoulder and her lips were even closer… her shoulder… Riko cursed the heavens for. Why did she have to be wearing her boring, drab school uniform at a time like this? A summer dress with straps would have been a million times better!

"Yeah," Riko said, laughing a little despite that was still shaking, "it's okay. I'm… I'm just surprised. I thought you only wanted to be my friend. You really make a girl work for her confession, you know?"

And their lips met. The wind blew in a flurry around them and the water rippled under the bridge. The scenic world around them melted into the background. It was just the aftertaste of melon ice cream on Riko's lips that shocked her and a vision of her own paradise.

Riko didn't know what would happen from now on. She had so much support in her life for this, and she had the world at her fingertips. It had been a long time coming but nothing was quite as sweet and secure in her future than knowing that Kanna loved her back. She would cherish that for herself.


End file.
